


Of Flower Crowns and Butterflies

by I_am_suffering_because_of_fandoms



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Mess, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Self-Care, M/M, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:22:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23589109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_suffering_because_of_fandoms/pseuds/I_am_suffering_because_of_fandoms
Summary: virgil has a secret. one that if it got out, would ruin his reputation as a dark and angsty emo forever. His little dirty secret was that every day he went to the park to make flower crowns. Doing so helped his anxiety levels lessen and improve his overall mood throughout the day. He always left it behind him when he left, hoping that someone would find it and that it would help their day be a bit brighter, even in the slightest. It was one thing he could count on.What he didn't count on was for a certain Princely character to find his simple creation and leave a sticky note expressing his admiration for his delicate creation.So the next day, he made another flower crown and left a sticky note of his own, starting a new ritual of going to the park each day, excitedly anticipating the next note that was just as flowery as his creations, always signed off with a flowing signature that could barely be made out as 'Princey'
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 18
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

Virgil grumbled softly in frustration as he struggled to perfect the flower chain cradled gently in his pale hands. He smiled softly in triumph when the ends finally connected with each other, leaving a nearly flawless circle of flowers, twisting around each other and forming a beautiful crown, fit for any king or prince. 

He sighed softly when he pulled his phone out, looking at the time and standing up, hurriedly making his way out of the park and towards his home. He had left the crown where he had been sitting, nestled in the grass and pine needles. 

He tended to do this, in the subconscious hopes that someone would find it. Making them always helped him calm down his anxiety, causing him to be more relaxed throughout the day, and he could only hope that someone would find his simple creation and that it would brighten their day at least slightly.

He knew it was stupid, and he often cursed himself silently whenever he would do it, telling himself that no one wanted his stupid and ugly creations and that he should stop doing it all together. 

But he had stuck around one day and seen a little girl pick up his flower crown like it was the most precious thing in the world, placing it on her head and running to her mother with a bright grin. That experience always dissuaded his self loathing thoughts, causing him to continue this little ritual of his. 

He silently walked into the house, wiping the gritty pollen off his hands and going to his room, getting dressed for his work at the library. He sat on his bed, scrolling through his tumblr dash board while he waited for the time when he had to leave. 

The door to his home opened and shut, the sound of footsteps walking to his room and slamming the door open “he talked to me!!” his very loud roommate exclaimed, flopping on his bed next to him 

“good for you Rem. He talked to you yesterday too. It’s kind of your job. You know, you have to talk to someone to get their coffee order.” He said sassily

Remy grumbled “shut it you emo. I meant he talked to me after he ordered his drink.” 

Virgil laughed shortly “I’m joking Remy, chill out. I’m happy for you, really. But I prefer my earbuds to be intact to I’m heading out before you start screaming about how beautiful he is.” He said as he stood up, grabbing his eyes and walking to his car, being followed by indignant spluttering and whining. 

He shoved his earbuds in his ears and started his car, beginning to drive to his work, slightly bobbing his head along with the music, smiling slightly and carefully navigating through traffic. 

The song had changed four and a half times by the time he finally pulled into the parking lot of the library, getting out off his car and walking into the warm and cozy building, the distinctive smell of books, both old and new filling the air along with the slight scent of coffee and sugar. 

He instantly relaxed, smiling softly and pinning his name tag to his hoodie, going behind the counter and beginning to go through the books, paging through the ones with more spine damage, indicating that they had been well read and loved. 

He always took careful note of those ones, adding their titles to a ever growing list in his mind of books to read. Today would be a good day. He could tell. Or well, he could hope in the very least. Hope that his own anxiety and fears wouldn't overwhelm his good mood and turn his light day dark. that happened far too often these days, but going to the park to make his simple creations always seemed to help his mood brighten. He just hopes that someone appreciated them as much as he did. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil paused, crouching down and gently picking up the yellow sticky note placed where he had been sitting the day before, confusion washing through him. "well this has never happened before." he murmured as he traced the words on the small square of paper, beginning to read them slowly
> 
> "This is utterly beautiful! I love it so very much! If you find this please share your secret! I’ve tried making flower crowns in the past and I’m embarrassed to say that they turned out less than wonderfully. Have a fantastic day!
> 
> ~Princey" 
> 
> well that had never happened before.

Virgil curled up in his bed, still dressed in his work uniform, exhaustion flooding through him. There was a Karen at the library today, insisting that they had a book that they well, didn’t have. She had begun to scream and curse when he tried to calm her down by telling her that, he had checked the back and no, they didn’t have the book. Suffice to say, he had been very close to either having a panic attack or throttling her. 

He was just glad that he had a morning shift. If that had happened yesterday, when he had an evening shift and he wouldn’t be able to go to the park to calm down he would definitely have a panic attack. He forced himself to stand up, getting changed into some black ripped skinny jeans and his patched hoodie, shoving his earbuds into his ears, blasting his music as he made his way to the park. 

He made his way to the tree he always sat at, his initials carved into the bark along with Remy’s and Logan’s. Of course, that latter objected strongly to harming the tree in the slightest amount. He was finally, reluctantly, convinced when he was bribed with a month's supply of crofters. 

Virgil paused, crouching down and gently picking up the yellow sticky note placed where he had been sitting the day before, confusion washing through him. "well this has never happened before." he murmured to himself as he traced the words on the small square of paper, beginning to read them slowly

‘This is utterly beautiful! I love it so very much! If you find this please share your secret! I’ve tried making flower crowns in the past and I’m embarrassed to say that they turned out less than wonderfully.

~Princey’

Well this had never happened before. He looked around, as though this ‘Princey' would still be around before fishing a pen out of his pocket, hesitating as he tried to think of what to reply with. 

‘Thanks dude. It’s really appreciated.’ No what if this person isn’t a guy. Is dude a gender neutral term? Might as well not risk it. ‘thank you for the compliment. I don’t have a secret though. I guess I’m just good at it? If you see this have a good day.’ there. That should do it right? Wait what should he sign it off with? Not his name. he was too anxious for that… anxious. Anxiety? That works. He signed his part of the note and hesitated before setting it where it had been previously, beginning to pick flowers around him. 

He sat down next to the sticky note with his bundle of wild flowers, beginning to weave them together into a flower crown, his thin and long fingers worked quickly, twisting the stems together with the skill perfected from months of practice. 

He smiled softly when he finished, hugging his knees to his chest and cradling the flower crown in his hands gently. He looked around and set the crown down, pulling his hood over his head and standing up, walking away from the tree silently with a small content sigh. He hoped he wouldn’t regret replying to the message, and subconsciously hoped he would get another one. 

Roman whistled a cheerful tune as he made his way to the park, grinning happily at his bubbly friend and their dog in front of him, calling for him to hurry up. “Okay ok padre I’m coming!” he said with a laugh 

Patton giggled and paused, waiting for roman to catch up as he crouched down, cooing at and petting the golden retriever “Yay!” he cheered before laughing as he was pushed down and attacked with slobbery kisses from the excited over grown puppy. 

Roman quickly walked over, grabbing the dog by his collar and pulling her away from Patton before helping him up “I think Bella is happy to be able to go outside for once.” He said with a grin, chuckling gently petting her 

Patton nodded, pouting softly “Yeah!! I felt so bad that we had to keep her cooped up inside!” 

“I know Pat, I was the same. But she had fleas remember?” He pointed out as he entered the park

“I knoooowww!” 

Roman chuckled softly and grinned at Patton “C'mon let’s go see if there is another flower crown!”

Patton instantly perked up and nodded excitedly, looking very similar to Bella in his excitement. “Yeah!! I wanna see if it’s actually as amazing as you said it was! I’m sure it is though!” he chirped as he sped up slightly 

“It was Pat. Honestly though, it was absolutely stunning!” 

“Awe yay!”

Roman grinned at Patton fondly, leading the way to where he had left the note the other day, cheering when he saw that there was another flower crown there. He hurried up and frowned slightly when he saw that his note was still there, appearing unchanged from the day before. 

He bent down and grinned when he saw that there was a note on it that wasn’t his own, quickly reading it and giggling softly “Anxiety huh… sounds like a creepy cookie.” He mumbled to himself before standing up as straight as he could for being as straight as a goddamned circle “Hey Pat!! They left a note!” he called, waving the small paper like a flag. 

Patton grinned and raced over, yelping when he almost fell at Roman's feet when Bella ran in front of him, tripping him up. Roman giggled and steadied him “Careful!”

Patton giggled softly before making grabby hands at the note “Show me!” he demanded good naturedly with a grin.

Roman handed the note to him, sitting down and picking the flower crown up, depositing it onto Patton’s head as the other read the note quickly. 

“Awe they sound sweet!”

“I suppose so. Now, are we going to play with Bella or not?” 

“Oh! Yeah of course!” Patton replied before   
carefully setting the flower crown down after admiring it, beginning to play with Roman and Bella, laughter filling the park as they enjoyed each others company.   
Roman paused mid step as he remembered that he hadn't replied to the note, the frisbee flying past his outstretched hand. He huffed softly and bent down, picking up the frisbee and walking over to Patton who was looking quite confused. "Want to help me reply to the note? I have my sticky notes in my bag with Bella's toys." 

Patton paused and then grinned brightly "Yeah!! I would love to do that! what should we say though?" 

"I dont know. uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... oh I got it 'It has been a good day! maybe one day you will be able to teach me how to make such gorgeous creations. In return I can, I dunno, teach you how to paint or something. And let me get this straight as I can for being a gay man, you go by anxiety huh? you sound like a creepy cookie. I wouldn't expect someone that makes flower crowns to go by something like that. It's cute though! have a good day!

~Princey' he smiled when he finished writing, sticking the note on the base of the tree, tracing the initials carved into the bark curiously, wondering if one of them belonged to the person that made the crowns. He smiled softly and turned to Patton and Bella "Want to go home now or continue playing with Bella?"

"Let's stay here for a little while!" 

Roman nodded and smiled brightly at Patton, grabbing the frisbee and beginning to throw it to him, Bella barking and yapping as she chased the plastic disk. The two friends and their pet played for hours, finally stumbling into their house dripping with sweat and covered in grass stains, their faces slightly sunburnt and red from the sun, wearing matching grins as they flopped onto the couch with sighs of relief, utterly happy and exhausted from their day in the park. 

Roman curled up close to Patton and Bella, cradling the flower crown in his hands gently, curious about its maker. He lightly touched the flowers, smiling softly and setting it onto Bella's head with a giggle, taking his phone out and snapping a selfie of them, cuddling into them and shutting his eyes as he slowly dozed off, a happy smile appearing on his face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this!! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> take it easy guys gals and nonbinary pals!! have a good day!!!


	3. Dear God I hope this wasnt a mistake.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil hesitated before quickly writing his number on the note, with a simple call me and a smiley face under it. 
> 
> He quickly signed it, thrusting it to Logan and beginning to make a flower crown to distract himself from the fearful thoughts that instantly started plaguing him at the thought of giving a relative stranger his number. 
> 
> He just hoped he wouldn't regret his decision.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~
> 
> In which Roman is oblivious to his own feelings and Virgil gets impatient with the slow responses

A week and four days had passed since the first note had been left at the tree, and many more had replaced it in that time. 

Virgil was ecstatic with the new tradition if not a bit confused. I mean he was the villain in his own story! Why would anyone want to befriend him?

He had no friends besides Damien, Remus, Logan, and Remy and Remy was the only reason he had even those friends. 

According to Remy, he had seen him and instantly adopted him like the extrovert he was, his only thought being that ‘a cute extra dark roasted coffee bean like him needed someone as fabulous as Remy in his life.’ 

God he loved that over dramatic coffee addict. 

Oh wait oops. His therapist said he wasn't allowed to have coffee. So green tea and other caffeinated drinks will have to do.

Virgil admitted, he was growing fond of his… pen pal? Yeah pen pal. Maybe too fond, considering the fact that he didn’t even know his name. 

What he did know was that he was a 27 year old theater gay that was overly dramatic that lived with his friend who he only called by dad themed nicknames and his dog, Bella, who was named after he found her behind the theater by his car on the closing night he played the beast in Beauty and the Beast. 

And well Virgil was getting fucking exhausted of having to wait literal hours for a relatively short reply. 

So here he was, with an exasperated looking Logan being dragged behind him as he walked to the park quickly, planning on leaving his number as well as the normal flower crown. 

“I don’t see why I am required for such a simple exchange.” Logan said tiredly, smiling slightly at Virgil, utterly fond of his shorter friend. 

“Because I want you to stick the sticky note with my number on the tree because if I do it I will over think it and not do it.” Virgil replied simply “Besides, I know you enjoy being able to read at the park.” 

“Fine. But we are having bitch and wine night tomorrow.” 

“You get the pizza and I’ll get the movie and the wine and you have yourself a deal.” 

“Extra large meat lovers hold the ham?” 

“Do you even have to ask?” 

“No I suppose I don’t.” Logan admitted as they arrived at the park

Virgil chuckled softly and made his way to the tree, bending down and reading the note Princey had left there, laughing softly before pulling a sticky note pad out of his pocket as well as a purple pen. 

‘haha very funny. Also, I’m getting sick and fucking tired of having to wait an unreasonable amount of time for a response. So I have made up my mind.’ 

Virgil hesitated before quickly writing his number, with a simple call me and a smiley face under it. 

He quickly signed it, thrusting it to Logan and beginning to make a flower crown to distract himself from the fearful thoughts that instantly started plaguing him at the thought of giving a relative stranger his number. 

Logan sighed and stuck it to the tree, sitting next to Virgil and opening the book he had grabbed on the way out of the park, beginning to read it quickly as his glasses slowly slid down his nose. 

He always stuck his tongue out slightly when he read or observed something he was fascinated by, tilting his head to the side and just, staring. Sometimes for hours. Without moving. 

It was fucking creepy as hell if you are the one he is observing, but if you aren’t it is oddly adorable and endearing. 

“Soooo, whatcha reading?” Virgil asked curiously as his lithe hands quickly turned the flowers into a crown. 

“I contain Multitudes By Ed Yong. It is about micro organisms and the vast world of microbiomes-" 

“Okay I really honestly don’t care because I’ve already read it, and let me tell you my skin itched and I constantly felt like something was crawling on me for days after I read it. I was just asking to be nice.” 

“That’s fair.” 

The two friends sat in comfortable silence for hours before Virgil remembered that he was a pale boi and wasn’t wearing any sunscreen and that he burnt easily.

They headed back to their houses soon after, parting ways and going inside the houses that stood side by side with each other. 

Virgil flipped him off as a farewell, the gesture being returned with a exclamation of “Fuck off!”

Ah best friends are so much better than friends if you know what I mean. 

Virgil collapsed onto the couch, turning on a random Netflix show and staring anxiously at his phone, preparing himself for a text or a call from and unknown number, and fighting against the urge to sprint to the tree and take the note back and burn it. 

He just hoped he wasn’t making the wrong choice giving his number to Princey. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Roman raced to the park with a grin, an unleashed Bella sprinting by him and barking at him happily. He would be lying to himself if he said that he wasn’t going so quickly because he was excited for the next note from Anxiety. 

He skidded to a halt in front of the tree, not even looking at the flower crown as he quickly grabbed the note, looking at it frantically, his eyes widening as he realized that there was a number on the note. 

He squealed excitedly and bounced on his feet for a couple moments, twirling around and laughing happily “Oh glorious day!!” he cheered, pulling his phone out quickly and typing the number into it. 

‘You know I wasn’t expecting this. I am quite happy you decided to give me your number though anx ;) 

~Princey'

He hesitated before clicking send, his breath hitching slightly as he saw that it went through. He pressed the screen to his forehead, closing his eyes and smiling nervously as he waited for a response. 

He practically screamed in excitement as his screen lit up with a notification 

‘You know I can still block you Princey.’ 

‘wow rude. And here I thought you were starting to warm up to me.’

‘not a chance ;)’

Roman giggled uncontrollably and grinned, naming the new contact “Creepy Cookie <3”

‘glad to see I’m so appreciated.’

‘what made you give me your number though?’ he texted, his eye brows furrowing slightly in confusion. Anxiety seemed like a well…. normally anxious person. It didn’t seem like him. 

‘I got impatient and wanted faster responses. Sue me.’

Roman giggled softly and grinned ‘that’s fair. I was getting impatient too.’

Roman slowly started walking back to his house, the flower crown carefully placed place on his head and his phone held close to his face as he quickly texted Anxiety, slowly growing more and more fond of his new friend as they joked and chatted. 

By the time he finally bid him ado, it was two am and he was curled   
up under his blankets on his bed with Bella curled up and asleep at his feet, his cheeks hurting badly from grinning at his screen for literal hours. 

But by God if he got to talk with anxiety for so long in exchange for his sleep and comfort he would willingly make that trade. 

‘good night anx! I loathe you!’

‘good night princey. I loathe you more!’

He smiled and plugged his phone into the charger, setting it on his night stand and staring at his ceiling with a happy sigh. Today had been a good day and by God he would do everything he could to make sure there were many more in his future. 

He couldn’t wait to keep talking to anxiety more. He was growing overly fond of the sarcastic self loathing flower crown loving emo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally added Logan gays. You're welcome 
> 
> I actually fricking love writing him so I dunno why I didn't add him sooner-
> 
> as always if you see any errors please point them out to me!! 
> 
> and any tips and constructive criticism are so fricking appreciated and welcome! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Till next time! take it easy guys gals and nonbinary pals!


	4. Bitch and wine night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “you got the wine right?” 
> 
> “Duh. And the movies. You got the bottled emotions and self loathing?” 
> 
> “Don’t I always?” 
> 
> “Mood.” Virgil sat down on the couch, Logan sitting next to him. He instantly opened the box of pizza, grabbing a slice and shoving it into his mouth. “Now, are you okay?”
> 
> “Not at all. I fell as though I’m on life support and people keep pulling the plug to charge their phone.” Logan said with a soft self deprecating laugh as he poured himself some wine.
> 
> "Jesus christ dude...."
> 
> ~~~~~~
> 
> In which logan and virgil talk about their feeeeeelllinnngssssss

Virgil answered the door as the doorbell rang, humming softly and raising a single eye brow at Logan “Hi idiot. Time for bitch and wine night already huh?” 

“Yep and shut up or you don’t get any pizza.” Logan said simply as he walked in “you got the wine right?” 

“Duh. And the movies. You got the bottled emotions and self loathing?” 

“Don’t I always?” 

“Mood.” Virgil sat down on the couch, Logan sitting next to him. He instantly opened the box of pizza, grabbing a slice and shoving it into his mouth. “Now, are you okay?”

“Not at all. I fell as though I’m on life support and people keep pulling the plug to charge their phone.” Logan said with a soft self deprecating laugh as he poured himself some wine

“Jesus Christ dude….” 

“I’m fine. I just need sleep and to stop over working myself.” 

“Yeah… when did you last let yourself take time off?” 

Logan hesitated “I think I last took time off… 7 years ago when I got so sick I had to go to the hospital.” 

“You are taking some time off. A week minimum. No buts or I am making you go to Picani for an appointment.” 

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Whatever. Fine. I’ll take a break. Now turn on the movie.” 

Virgil chuckled softly, grabbing his remote and turning on Big Hero 6 and turning to Logan “So what’s been going on?” 

“Oh you know the usual,” Logan said, sipping his wine slowly “I’ve been bottling and the bottle has been slowly crumbling under the weight of my existence.” 

“Dude. Chill. I’m supposed to be the dark and edgy one. Don’t take my job away from me.” 

Logan smiled softly at Virgil “If you insist. What about you? Has the anxiety been better?” 

“Yeah actually… I’ve been trying the painting and stuff and listening to the podcast you suggested. They’ve really been helping. Thank you for giving me the supplies for the painting by the way.” 

“My pleasure dumbass. I wouldn’t want my best friend having panic attacks without me being there to help him right?” 

“Damn right.” 

“So… what do we talk about now?” 

“If you think I know you are incorrect.” Logan said, pouring himself another glass of wine and taking his tie off, draping it over his shoulders with a soft sigh

“That's fair.” 

“I am curious though about this ‘Princey’ though. What is going on with him?” 

“He is infuriating and I couldn’t be happier to have befriended him. I stayed up until two in the morning talking to him last night actually. He's… nice.” 

“That is ideal in a friend. Morality and ‘niceness’ is quite… desirable.” Logan remarked

“Yeah I guess.”

“I sincerely hope he will be beneficial to your health and that you two will be capable of becoming closer in the future months.” 

“Same here,” Virgil said with a soft chuckle, moving over to Logan and laying down with his head in his friend's lap “Hey I have a question.”

“Well go ahead and ask.” 

Virgil smirked slightly “Do you think clouds have feelings?” 

Logan blinked and started playing with Virgil's hair “Do I think floating amounts of evaporated water and trace amounts of minerals have feelings? No. I don’t think they do.” 

“Aw darn.” 

“Idiot.” Logan said, smiling down at his friend fondly and ruffling his hair 

“Takes one to know one.” 

“If you insist. Now may I enjoy my favorite movie or should I expect frequent interruptions?”

“I’m your best friend. Expect frequent interruptions.” 

Logan sighed heavily and poked Virgil’s ribs sharply “Got it.”

Virgil turned to the movie, smiling softly as he curled up close to Logan anxiously, his eyes focused on the screen. 

He knew that Logan would always drop anything and everything to assist him or comfort him , but he was always nervous and anxious to cuddle him or request any form of physical affection, no matter how much he craved and needed it. He was always terrified that he would get pushed away. 

But his fears disappeared the moment his friend laid down, pulling him onto his chest, his strong arms circling his chest and hugging him close to himself. 

He exhaled shakily in relief, melting into Logan and smiling softly, his eyes half closing as he lazily watched the moving pictures on the screen. He always loved these so aptly named bitch and wine nights. 

They had been created when someone had called Logan an emotionless robot and other crude terms, causing him to run off. Virgil had followed him after berating and yelling at the person, finding him curled up on the ground hugging himself tightly and sobbing silently. 

He had learned then that Logan had been bottling his emotions for years, terrified that those he loved and trusted would throw his affections back in his face, causing him to pull on his cold facade and shove his emotions deep down inside of himself. 

So Virgil forced him over to his house to vent and watch movies, drink wine, and eat junk food so that his toxic emotions wouldn’t simmer over and fester and boil. 

He had planned it to only be a one time thing originally, having not been good friends with Logan at the time, but then he realized that oh shit. He actually liked the serious nerd. 

So, the bitch and wine nights became a regular thing for the two damaged friends who just wanted some goddamn human affection once in a while. 

Unfortunately, it seemed that these days they were only able to get it from each other. So when they did get together, they awkwardly hugged each other and refused to let go, waking up with their limbs tangled together and smiles on their faces. 

They loved each other like brothers should, and no matter what happened they would always be together. 

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes. this is a filler chapter and I know it. 
> 
> let's move on!! 
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this actually. Virgil always seems to be the one that is damaged in fan fics and I was like
> 
> logan angst??? someone wanted logan angst?!??? no??? too bad!!!
> 
> I hope you all have a good day! thank you so so much for reading this!! 
> 
> take it easy guys gals and nonbinary pals!


End file.
